


"I Love You"

by kaffeflote



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gun Violence, M/M, Non-Canonical Character Death, bad ending post 159, ignores mag 160, oh yeah also, this isn't like a masterpiece or anything i just enjoy causing myself pain in written form i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22149796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaffeflote/pseuds/kaffeflote
Summary: Then there was a sound that Jon too late realized was a gunshot. Jon braced himself for the pain, but nothing happened.What did happen was a choked sound of pain behind him, and the horrible realising swooped into his lungs and pushed all the air out. He whirled around and leapt forward and just managed to catch Martin before he fell over.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	"I Love You"

**Author's Note:**

> Well. Here we are, I guess. Enjoy? (lol. See and heed tags for warnings)
> 
> Inspired by a post on tumblr I saw post!159 that said it was Jon’s turn to say the love word, which my brain took and ran with in the worst direction. Also i’m not british so either correct me or overlook it, it be like that sometimes.

It all happened so fast he could barely follow it. One moment he was caressing Martin’s cheek in the Lonely and saying, “ _ Don’t worry, I know the way _ ,” before softly taking Martin’s hand in his and leading them through the mist where his mind Knew to go. The next they were stepping out of the endless fog and back into the panopticon, leaving the swirling fog of nothingness behind and blinking in shock as reality caught up to them, their senses going back to normal.

Then there was a sound that Jon too late realized was a gunshot. Jon braced himself for the pain, but nothing happened.

What did happen was a choked sound of pain behind him, and the horrible realising swooped into his lungs and pushed all the air out. He whirled around and leapt forward and just managed to catch Martin before he fell over.

How could he have forgotten Elias, or Jonah, or whoever the fuck-

He touched his hand to the front of Martin’s jumper to try and shift his grip and it came away bloody. 

“No, no- nonono Martin!” 

The entire situation a horrifying mirror of the embrace in the Lonely, he cradled Martin’s face in his shaking hands as tears filled his eyes. He squeezed Martin’s face slightly, trying to coax Martin’s attention to him, maybe if he could keep Martin awake, keep his eyes open, keep him here-

“No, no no no no, Martin, Martin please, keep your eyes open, keep looking at me, don’t close your eyes please.”

He could barely hear his own voice over the rushing in his ears and the small noises of pain Martin made, only made worse by Jon trying to move him and hold onto him at the same time, he was barely even aware of the words he was saying in his panic, he just needed to keep Martin from closing his eyes, from fading away again.

A clumsy grasp on his jumper made him freeze. Martin’s hand, pale and shaky, gripped his arm.

Jon moved one of his own hands to take it and he held it tight, tried to squeeze it as hard as he could as if he hoped it would somehow give Martin more strength, more energy to carry on and keep his  _ damned eyes open _ .

He felt hollow and cramped, like a void was inside him that wouldn't let him get enough air, he couldn’t think, he didn’t know what to do. Please no, not Martin, this couldn't happen, not  _ now _ , not  _ just _ when he had gotten him back,  _ finally _ , after so many months of silence and not knowing or Knowing. 

“N-no, Martin, please, it’ll be okay, j-just a little longer, help’s coming, I promise, just h-hold on,” - it wasn’t, Daisy and Basira were busy and there was no one else, no one else who could do anything to help. 

Martins hand grabbed at his, trying to hold it tightly, and he tried to talk but his strength was failing him, spilling out of him is a quickly growing pool of blood on the cold stone floor. 

“M-martin, plea-please, no, I love you, you can’t die. I love you. Please please keep your eyes open, Martin. I love you.”

Martin’s grip loosened from his jumper, went limp in his hand.

“No, no, I love you, I love you, stay with me, Martin, please.”

His eyes slid shut, and he breathing slowed to a stop. 

“I love you,” Jon wept, burying his face in Martin’s curls, the colour faded out from the Lonely he had rescued him from not moments ago. “I love you,” he repeated, his words a litany in the dank and shadowed panopticon. “I love you.”

But Martin didn’t say anything, no answer was coming from the body he gripped desperately, no answer ever would. The thought brought on a fresh wave of tears that fell into the unwashed locks he cradled, and tugged at feelings he’d thought were worn out over the last year.

There was a noise behind him as Elias-  _ Jonah- _ the  _ murderer _ had put the gun down and was looking at the events in front of him as if it were a mildly amusing TV program. He smiled -  _ smirked _ \- as Jon blearily met his eyes through a daze of furious tears, and said, “Now that that’s been dealt with, I think it’s time we have a discussion, Jon.”

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaand the end. My brain wouldn’t let this go so I had to share it.
> 
> :-)


End file.
